GRIN AND SHARE IT: “I Come Quickly”


I Come Quickly

With sermon preparations and anxiety, the new preacher had gotten
very little sleep the week before he was to address his flock for the
first time; so by Sunday morning, he was both exhausted and extremely
nervous. Nevertheless, he managed to make it up the few steps onto the
platform and into the pulpit. However, he had barely begun his
presentation when everything he had planned to say flew right out of
his mind. In fact, his mind went totally blank. Then he remembered
that in seminary they had taught him what to do if a situation like
this ever arose:

“Repeat your last point, and let it remind you of what’s coming next.”
Figuring this advice couldn’t hurt, he recalled the very last thing
he’d said, and repeated it:

“Behold,” he quoted, “I come quickly.” Still his mind was blank. He
thought he’d better try it again: “Behold, I come quickly.” Still
nothing.

He tried it one more time – but in his panic, he pronounced the words
with such force that he lost his balance, fell forward, knocked the
pulpit to one side, tripped over a flower arrangement, and fell into
the lap of a little old lady in the front row. Flustered and
embarrassed, he picked himself up, apologized profusely, and started
to explain what had just happened.

“That’s all right, young man,” said the little old lady kindly. “It
was my fault, really. You told me three times you were on your way
down here. I should have just gotten out of your way!”

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“Masturbation – is it a sin according to the Bible?”


The Bible never explicitly mentions masturbation or states whether or not masturbation is a sin. The Scripture most frequently pointed to in regards to masturbation is the story of Onan in Genesis 38:9-10. Some interpret this passage as saying that “spilling your seed” on the ground is a sin. However, that is not precisely what the passage is saying. God condemned Onan not for “spilling his seed” but because Onan refused to fulfill his duty to provide an heir for his brother. The passage is not about masturbation, but rather about fulfilling a family duty. A second passage sometimes used as evidence for masturbation’s being a sin is Matthew 5:27-30. Jesus speaks against having lustful thoughts and then says, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.” While there are parallels between this passage and masturbation, it is unlikely that masturbation was what Jesus was alluding to.

While the Bible nowhere explicitly states that masturbation is a sin, there is no question as to whether the actions that lead to masturbation are sinful. Masturbation is nearly always the result of lustful thoughts, sexual stimulation, and/or pornographic images. It is these problems that need to be dealt with. If the sins of lust, immoral thoughts, and pornography are forsaken and overcome, masturbation will become a non-issue. Many people struggle with guilty feelings concerning masturbation, when in reality, the things that led to the act are far more worthy of repentance.

There are some biblical principles that can be applied to the issue of masturbation. Ephesians 5:3 declares, “Among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity.” It is hard to see how masturbating can pass that particular test. The Bible teaches us, “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). If you cannot give God glory for something, you should not do it. If a person is not fully convinced that an activity is pleasing to God, then it is a sin: “Everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). Further, we need to remember that our bodies have been redeemed and belong to God. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body” (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). This great truth should have a real bearing on what we do with our bodies. In light of these principles, the conclusion that masturbation is a sin is biblical. Clearly, masturbation is not glorifying to God; it does not avoid the appearance of immorality, nor does it pass the test of God’s having ownership over our bodies.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Falling Off the Horse”


The cavalryman was galloping down the road, rushing
to catch up with his regiment. Suddenly his horse
stumbled and pitched him to the ground. In the dirt
with a broken leg, terrified of the approaching
enemy, the soldier called out, “All you saints in
Heaven, help me get up on my horse!”

Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the
horse’s back and fell off the other side.

Once again on the ground, he called to Heaven, “All
right, just half of you this time!”

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“Should a Christian own a gun?”



 Due to the growing level of violence in our world and the extolment of peace in Scripture, there is much debate among Christians regarding whether it is appropriate for a Christian to own weapons. However, a comprehensive look at the Bible offers insight regarding historic practices that inform this issue today.

We have the example of the apostles, who owned weapons. On the night Jesus was betrayed, He asked His followers to bring swords. They had two, which Jesus claimed was enough (Luke 22:37-39). As Jesus was being arrested, Peter sliced off the ear of one of the servants of the high priest (John 18:10). Jesus healed the man instantly (Luke 22:51) and commanded Peter to put away his weapon (John 18:11). Peter’s ownership of a sword was not condemned, only his particular use of it.

On another occasion, soldiers came to be baptized by John the Baptist. When asked what to do to live for God, John told them, “Do not extort money from anyone by threats or by false accusation, and be content with your wages” (Luke 3:14). John stopped short of telling them to lay down their weapons.

And then there is David, who praised God “who trains my hands for war, my fingers for battle” (Psalm 144:1). The Old Testament contains many other examples of godly men who owned and used weapons, usually in the context of warfare.

The Bible never forbids a Christian from owning a weapon, but it does offer some principles to consider. First, Christians are called to be peacemakers (Mathew 5:10). A Christian considering the purchase of a weapon should prayerfully consider if doing so would aid in peace-making.

Second, a Christian should only own a weapon for a purpose that would honor God (1 Corinthians 10:23). Using a weapon for hunting, military or law enforcement duty, or self-defense may honor God. Still, a person should reflect on his or her motives for owning a particular weapon.

Third, a Christian should abide by local laws, including gun laws. Romans 13 is clear that governing authorities are from God and are to be obeyed. Further, we are to pray on behalf of governing leaders who oversee our communities and nation (1 Timothy 2:1-2).

Ultimately, there is nothing sinful about owning a gun or other weapon. A weapon can be useful and even necessary in some contexts; at the same time, Christians should carefully consider their motive and purpose in owning a weapon, and local ordinances should be followed.

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“Why are so many people talking about December 21, 2012 being the end of the world?”



 The ancient Mayans, in their “Long Count” calendar, had December 21, 2012, as the end of the calendar. This “end” of the Mayan calendar leads to many different interpretations. Some see it as nothing more than a reset, the beginning of a new cycle. Others see it as the date for the end of the world (or at least some type of universal catastrophe). So, what is the Mayan Long Count calendar, and does it have any relation to the end of the world?

The Mayans developed their own calendar (The Long Count) ca. 355 B.C. They were able to use their observations and mathematical prowess to calculate the future movements of stars across the sky. The result was that the Mayans discovered the effect of the earth’s wobbling as it spins on its axis. This wobbling rotation causes the stars’ movements to drift gradually in the sky (an effect called “precession”) in a 5,125-year cycle. The Mayans also discovered that once every cycle the dark band at the center of the Milky Way (called the “Galactic Equator”) intersects the Elliptical (the plane of the sun’s movement across the sky).

During the year of the intersection, the sun reaches its solstice (a brief moment when the sun’s position in the sky is at its greatest angular distance on the other side of the equatorial plane from the observer) on December 21 for the Northern Hemisphere and June 21 for the Southern Hemisphere. At that time, the solstice occurs at the same moment of the conjunction of the Galactic Equator with the Milky Way. The year this occurs (in relation to our Gregorian calendar) is A.D. 2012, and happened last on August 11, 3114 B.C. With Mayan mythology teaching that the sun is a god and the Milky Way is the gateway to life and death, the Mayans concluded that this intersection in the past must have been the moment of creation. Mayan hieroglyphs seem to indicate that they believed the next intersection (in 2012) would be some sort of end and a new beginning of a cycle.

All the so-called “Mayan prophecies of 2012” are nothing more than wildly speculative extrapolations, based on the yet-uncertain interpretations by scholars of Mayan hieroglyphs. The truth is that, apart from the astrological convergence, there is little indication that the Mayans prophesied anything specific regarding the events in their distant future. The Mayans were not prophets; they were not even able to predict their own cultural extinction. They were great mathematicians and accomplished sky watchers, but they were also a brutally violent tribal people with a primitive understanding of natural phenomena, subscribing to archaic beliefs and the barbaric practices of blood-letting and human sacrifice. They believed, for example, that the blood of human sacrifices powered the sun and gave it life.

There is absolutely nothing in the Bible that would present December 21, 2012, as the end of the world. The Bible nowhere presents the astronomical phenomena the Mayans pointed to as a sign of the end times. It would seem inconsistent of God to allow the Mayans to discover such an amazing truth while keeping the many Old Testament prophets ignorant of the timing of the events. In summary, there is absolutely no biblical evidence that the 2012 Mayan prophecy should be considered a reliable prediction of doomsday.

Also included in the ancient Mayan prediction that December 21, 2012, would be the end of the world are the following theories: our sun is a god; the sun is powered by the blood of human sacrifice; the creation moment occurred at 3114 B.C. (despite all evidence that it happened much earlier); and the visual alignment of stars has some significance for everyday human life. Like every other false religion, the Mayan religion sought to elevate the creation instead of the Creator Himself. The Bible tells us about such false worshipers: “They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator” (Romans 1:25), and “since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse” (Romans 1:20). To accept the Mayan 2012 prophecy is also to deny the clear biblical teaching about the end of the world. Jesus told us, “But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.” (Mark 13:32).

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Computer Contest”


One day Jesus and Satan were arguing about who had the greatest
computer skills. They argued and argued. When they had drawn a crowd
of onlookers and were still going at it hot and heavy, the angels–
fallen and not–started to take sides and make bets.
Well God had had quite enough of this and decided to intervene. He told
Jesus and Satan that there would be a progamming contest between the two
that would settle the argument of who was better. They both began program-
ming day and night to win the contest. They were at their computers
for an eternity when ZAP came a flash of lightning from God and their
screens went blank.
The day of reckoning had come. “Well, let’s see
what you have done”, said God.
So, Satan reboots his computer calls up
his program and the screen is blank. Nothing! He turns, smiles and
looks at Jesus.
Jesus reboots his computer, calls up his program, and an
infinite universe appears: Colorful, luminescent, in breathtaking 3-D,
with populations of people and animals, building, working, eating,
loving, giving birth, and dying.
“THAT’S NOT FAIR,” shouted Satan.
“Oh, yes it is,” God said, “Jesus saves.”

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“What is an advent calendar?”



 The word ‘Advent’ has a Latin origin meaning ‘the coming,’ or more accurately, ‘coming toward.’ For Christian believers, Christmas is one of the greatest events in the yearly cycle, being the celebration of the greatest gift ever given by God to mankind. That gift was Jesus, the Son of God Himself, born into this world in human form and coming to live among us to show us the true nature of God, experience human joy and sorrow along with us, and finally, going of His own will to die a horrible, agonizing death. In this way the price was paid for all human sin that had cut us off from our Holy God and Heavenly Father, resulting in our complete and total reconciliation with Him.

Centuries ago, the importance of this event caused many Christians to feel that it was inadequate merely to mark off only one day on the yearly calendar for celebrating this incredible gift from God. Believers had (and still do have) such a sense of awe and overwhelming gratitude and wonder at what happened that first Christmas that they felt the need for a period of preparation immediately beforehand. They could then not only take time themselves to meditate on it, but also teach their children the tremendous significance of Christmas.

At first, the days preceding Christmas were marked off from December 1 with chalk on believers’ doors. Then in Germany in the late 19th century the mother of a child named Gerhard Lang made her son an Advent Calendar comprised of 24 tiny sweets stuck onto cardboard. Lang never forgot the excitement he felt when he was given his Advent calendar at the beginning of each December, and how it reminded him every day that the great celebration of the whole year was approaching ever nearer. As an adult he went into partnership with his friend Reichhold and opened a printing office. In 1908, they produced what is thought to be the first-ever printed Advent Calendar with a small colored picture for each day in Advent. Later on, at the beginning of the 20th century, they hit on the idea of making the pictures into little shuttered windows for the children to open day by day in order to heighten their sense of expectation.

The idea of the Advent Calendar caught on with other printing firms as the demand swiftly increased, and many versions were produced, some of which would have printed on them Bible verses appropriate to the Advent period. By now the Advent Calendar had gained international popularity, and children all over the world were clamoring for them as December approached. Unfortunately, the custom came to an end with the beginning of the First World War when cardboard was strictly rationed and only allowed to be used for purposes necessary to the war effort. However, in 1946, when rationing began to ease following the end of the Second World War, a printer named Richard Sellmer once again introduced the colorful little Advent Calendar, and again it was an immediate success.

Sadly, with the wane of Christianity in Western nations, the Advent Calendar, although still enormously popular with all children, has lost its true meaning. Many, many children and their parents have no idea of the history of the little calendar or its true purpose, which is to prepare us for the celebration of the advent of the Christ-child. Even if they do know, most would not care. Also, the makers of today’s Advent calendars are anxious only to sell their product, and the majority of these neither know nor care about the meaning and purpose of Advent. Their calendars depict Santa Claus and his reindeer, snowmen, holly, mistletoe, and all the secular trappings of Christmas behind the little windows, often along with a piece of chocolate. Fortunately, however, Christian printers are still with us to manufacture calendars for children from Christian families that unfold the story of the nativity with each window that is opened. We, as Christian believers, pray that one day the whole world will be aware of the incredible wonder of the true meaning of Advent and Christmas.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Good News, Bad News”


Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current.

Good News: The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.

Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you
wrote it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed
a search committee to find somebody capable of filling the position.

Good News: You finally found a choir director who
approaches things exactly the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.

Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the “Gong Show,” “Beavis
and Butthead” and “Texas Chain Saw Massacre.”

Good News: Your women’s softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men’s softball team.

Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.

Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.

Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the Head Bishop of your denomination.

Good News: The youth in your church come to your house for a surprise visit.
Bad News: It’s in the middle of the night and they are
armed with toilet paper and shaving cream to “decorate” your house.

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“Does Luke’s claim that Jesus was born in Bethlehem at the time of Quirinius’ census match the historical record?”



 This is a question that has been a point of controversy among biblical scholars and skeptics for centuries. History tells us that Caesar Augustus reigned over the Roman Empire from 27 BC to AD 14 and ordered a census to be conducted during his tenure. Herod the Great reigned until 4 BC, meaning Jesus has to be born sometime before that time. The mention of Quirinius as governor of Syria in Luke chapter 2 appears to cause a problem as history records that Quirinius held this office between AD 6-7, at least 10 years after the birth of Jesus according to Matthew and Luke. There are at least three possibilities here for how we can interpret what is written in Luke 2:2:

(1) Luke made a historical error. This would presuppose that Luke was not inspired by the Holy Spirit in all his writings.

(2) The Greek word for “first” in Luke 2:2 is protos and can be translated “before.” Thus Luke 2:2 could actually be translated, “This was the census taken before Quirinius was governor of Syria.”

(3) Quirinius actually ruled Syria on two separate occasions and there were actually two censuses taken. The “first census” mentioned in Luke 2:2 occurred during his first term as governor, and another was ordered during his second term as governor mentioned in Acts 5:37, which probably took place between AD 6-7 (Josephus links this census to an uprising under Judas of Galilee). With Luke being the author of both Luke and Acts and wanting to write in “consecutive order” (Luke 1:3), it would seem unlikely for Luke to make such a mistake in dating.

Further, the Christian doctrine of the inerrancy of the Word of God (2 Timothy 3:16, 2 Peter 1:20-21) leads us to accept explanation (2) or (3) as the most likely, with the most evidence pointing to explanation (3). The Bible is true and spoken from God’s mouth (God-breathed), and we accept it as truth more than the historical writings of the Romans or even the writings of the Jewish historian Josephus.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Don’t Be Scared”


One Sunday after church Mom asked her very young daughter
what the lesson was about.

Her daughter answered “Don’t be scared, you’ll get your quilts.”

Needless to say, mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the
Pastor stopped by for tea. Mom asked him what that morning’s
Sunday school lesson was about.

He said “Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming.”

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