THE WALL: a blog of Baptist Voice Ministries

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed
home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, “Dear Lord,
I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at
home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in
our bodies.” God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose,
cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes,
fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home
and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the
bank to draw out money to pay the power bill and telephone bill, drove to
the power company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery
shopping, came home and put away the groceries. He cleaned the cat’s
litter box and bathed the dog. Then it was already 1 p.m. and he hurried
to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the
kitchen floor. Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an
argument with them on the way home. Set out cookies and milk and got the
kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and
watched TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and
washing greens for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans
for supper.

After supper he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry,
bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 p.m. he was exhausted and,
though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was
expected to make love-which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, “Lord,
I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s being
able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back.”

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “My son, I feel you have learned
your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

You’ll have to wait 9 months, though. You got pregnant last night.

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday
morning service, and she’s in tears.

He says, “So what’s bothering you, Mary my dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband
passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary,
did he have any last requests?”

“That he did, Father…”

The priest says, “What did he ask, Mary?”

She says, “He said, ‘Please Mary, put down that gun…'”

With both ears very red, Sarah went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she
answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead
of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear.”

“Oh dear!” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. “But what happened
to your other ear?”

“The idiot called back!”

One day in heaven, the Lord decided he would visit the earth and take
astroll. Walking down the road, the Lord encountered a man who was
crying. The Lord asked the man, “Why are you crying,
my son?”

The man said that he was blind and had never seen a sunset. The Lord
touched the man and he could see and he was happy.

As the Lord walked further, he met another man crying and asked,
“Why are you crying, my son?”

The man was born a cripple and was never able to walk. The Lord touched
him and he could walk and he was happy.

Farther down the road, the Lord met another man who was crying and
asked, “Why are you crying, my son?” The man said, “Lord, I work for
the Government,” and the Lord sat down and cried with him.

Sarah reported for her university final examination which consists
of “yes/no” type questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall,
stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration
takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and
marking the answer sheet “Yes” for Heads and “No” for Tails.

Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is sweating
it out. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the
coin, swearing and sweating.

The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
“I finished the exam in half an hour, but I’m rechecking the
answers”.