GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Get Some Therapy”


Get Some Therapy

After a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a
man and his wife decide that the only way to save their marriage
is to try therapy.

When they arrived at the therapist’s office, the therapist jumped right
in “what seems to be the problem?”

Immediately , the husband looked down without anything to say and the
wife started talking 90 miles an hour describing all the wrongs within her
husband.

After 15 minutes, the therapist went over to her, picked her up and kissed
her passionately. Afterwards, the wife sat there speechless.

He looked at the husband who was staring in disbelief at what just
happened. The therapist said “your wife NEEDS that at least 2 times
a week!”

The husband scratched his head and said, “I can have her here on
Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

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“What are the pros and cons of attending a mega-church (megachurch)?”


A “megachurch” is defined as a Protestant church that has an average of 2,000 or more regular attendees to weekend services.

Megachurch demographics: The composition of the megachurch has changed in the last decade. Ten years ago, megachurches were comprised mostly of baby boomers (the post World War II generation born between 1946 and 1964) with children. As baby busters (born in the generation following the baby boom when the birth rate fell dramatically) had their own families and megachurch singles’ ministries developed, the demographic has grown much younger. Income and education levels of megachurch congregants tend to be higher than for those in smaller churches. Megachurches tend to have twice as many visitors as other churches. Over two-thirds of congregants have attended for less than five years, while nearly half of traditional church congregants have attended for more than ten. Members of megachurches are more likely to hold evangelical beliefs, study the Scriptures on their own, and believe in the importance of sharing their faith. Megachurches also tend to be the most multi-ethnic of all congregations.

Megachurch denominations and beliefs: Roughly one-third of all megachurches are non-denominational, and one fourth of all megachurches are Baptist. Over half are evangelical. Interestingly enough, the larger the church, the more likely their doctrine is to be conservative and Bible-based (at least in a very broad sense of what it means to be conservative). According to George Barna, this may be because traditional-minded conservatives, those who value boundaries and rules, are more able to work together for a common goal.

Megachurch health: Attendance in and financial support of megachurches is actually climbing, while traditional-sized churches are struggling. Again, George Barna points out that conservatives tend to define success by numbers, and people with higher education and income would naturally take more ownership in what is perceived as a successful organization. But although megachurches are, in general, doing well financially, their individual congregants tend to give less. A megachurch’s larger numbers means their finances can be used more efficiently to provide more services for a greater number of people.

Megachurch environment: Megachurch worship styles are usually contemporary and professional-quality, although they may have great variety between their different services. They tend to use technology in the worship service and are more likely to support a variety of artistic expressions of worship such as drama and dance. Many megachurches manage their growth by expanding to other geographical locations and broadcasting the pastor’s message from the central site. Smaller churches will embrace technology as their budgets and culture deem appropriate. Most megachurches emphasize small groups as a way of building and maintaining interpersonal relationships, something that is difficult in the main services.

Megachurch ministries and programs: Megachurches offer many more opportunities to serve. Attendees can pick and choose their ministries and the groups they’d like to participate in. On the other hand, it is easier to regularly attend services and still not know anyone; new parishioners need to be proactive about finding a place in the church. Coffee shops are becoming ubiquitous, but many megachurches also provide pre-schools, recovery and addition groups, and licensed counselors. They may also host musical concerts and conferences. Smaller churches are usually limited by their resources and facilities, although they can join together with other churches to provide some of these services. Because of the services offered, parents of young families and young singles are more likely to go to a larger church.

Megachurch leadership: Many megachurches are driven by an energetic senior pastor with a strong personality. A megachurch led by a spiritually mature, Bible-dedicated pastor can remain healthy for years. If the pastor leaves, whether due to scandal, retirement, or just moving on, the church may not survive intact very well. Megachurches are often defined by their senior pastor, and transition can be difficult.

Smaller churches, often comprised of several long-attending families, are less dependent on the pastor for their internal atmosphere. Smaller churches tend to rely on their parishioners more, and the parishioners have more of an impact on the tenor and life of the church. This can be fulfilling as parishioners see how they have a personal impact on the identity of the congregation. It can also be overwhelming if the church is struggling financially.

Megachurch culture: Interestingly, although megachurches were first developed by baby boomers, megachurch trends in attendance, participation, and leadership all reflect the growing influence of the baby buster generation. Busters are more likely to take responsibility for their own beliefs instead of allowing an organization to define them. Because of this, they are generally more committed to the church when their needs are being met (hence the high ministry participation rate), but are more apt to leave and find another church when they are not (hence the low long-term membership rate). In addition, busters are more likely to be loyal to an individual or individuals than to an organization—reflected in the megachurch’s reliance on a single personality.

Obviously, the biggest difference between a megachurch and a traditional church is the size. From the off-duty policemen directing traffic in the multi-acre parking lot and the huge sanctuary with stadium seating, to the warren of hallways leading to children’s Sunday school rooms, megachurches, by their nature, must be big. This provides more opportunities to serve and a wider variety of ministries, but also a greater chance an individual will get lost in the crowd.

The choice between attending a megachurch or a more traditional, smaller church is a personal one. While the above descriptions are based on statistical analysis, there are churches of all sizes that provide sound biblical teaching and opportunities for spiritual growth. All Christian churches should preach the gospel and the headship of Christ. The size and ministries available should be those that edify and provide service opportunities for the attendees. There is nothing in Scripture that states the ideal size of a local congregation. It is the presence of God that makes a church, not the number of people.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Wealthy Widow”


The Wealthy Widow

Once a youg woman married a very wealthy man they lived many
happy years until after about 10 years he passed away, of course
leaving her a very wealthy widow.

Still being young after her husband had been dead a few years she
met an actor they married and she saw many broadway shows, many
of which he was the star, they traveled but after they’d been married
about 10 years he too passed away. This was 2 husbands she had to bury.

Still being a young woman of about 40, she began going to church. She met
their new pastor they fell in love and married, unfortunatly after a few
years he too passed away. Well this is her 3rd husband she’d had to bury.

Again still being a desirable woman she met a wonderful man, he was a
mortician. After they’d been married about 5 years, she took ill and she
passed away.

Some people say…that she married…

1 for the money,…

2 for the show,…

3 to get ready and…

4 to GO…

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“What did Jesus mean when He said to ‘not cast your pearls before swine’ (Matthew 7:6)?”


 

“Do not cast your pearls before swine” is a portion of the Sermon on the Mount, and to understand its meaning, we have to understand its context and placement within the sermon. Christ had just finished instructing the crowd on judgment and reproof: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” Matthew 7:1-2), and “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Then in verse 6, Christ tempers these admonitions and shows us the difference between “judgment” and “discernment.”

The analogy of the dogs actually comes from Proverbs: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly” (Proverbs 26:11). Swine are also described in this way, as illustrated by Peter: “Of them [false prophets and teachers] the proverbs are true: ‘A dog returns to its vomit,’ and, ‘A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud’” (2 Peter 2:22). The dogs and swine here are representative of those who would ridicule, reject, and blaspheme the gospel once it has been given to them. We are not to put forth the gospel of Jesus Christ in the direction of someone who has no other purpose than to trample it and return to his own evil ways. We identify such people through discernment, which is given in some measure to all Christians (1 Corinthians 2:15-16).

This does not mean we refrain from preaching the gospel. Jesus Himself ate with and taught sinners and tax collectors (Matthew 9:10). In essence, the instruction in Matthew 7:6 is the same that Jesus gave to His apostles when He said, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town” (Matthew 10:14). We are not to judge others, for we are guilty of the same things they are. Reserving judgment, however, does not prevent us from discerning those who would accept, or at least respect, the gospel from those who would ridicule, mock, and trample it, and then turn on us and abuse us. Balancing judgment with discernment is the wisdom of serpents Jesus refers to inMatthew 10:16.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Gas Men”


The Gas Men

Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a
young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban
neighborhood.

They parked their truck at one end of the alley and worked
their way to the other end. At the last house an older woman
was looking out her kitchen window watching the two men as
they checked her gas meter.

Finishing the meter check, the senior supervisor challenged
his younger coworker to a foot race down the alley and back to
the truck to prove that an older guy could outrun a younger
one.

As they came running up to the truck, they realized the lady
from that last house was huffing and puffing right behind
them.

They stopped and asked her what was wrong.

Gasping for breath, she replied, “When I see two gas men
running as hard as you two were, I figure I’d better run too!”

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“What does the Bible say about anointing oil?”



Anointing oil, mentioned 20 times in Scripture, was used in the Old Testament for pouring on the head of the High Priest and his descendants and sprinkling the Tabernacle and its furnishings to mark them as holy and set apart to the Lord (Exodus 25:6; Leviticus 8:30; Numbers 4:16). Three times it is called the “holy, anointing oil” and the Jews were strictly forbidden from reproducing it for personal use (Exodus 30:32-33). The recipe for anointing oil is found in Exodus 30:23-24 and contained myrrh, cinnamon and other natural ingredients. There is no indication that the oil or the ingredients had any supernatural power. Rather, the strictness of the guidelines for creating the oil was a test of the obedience of the Israelites and a demonstration of the absolute holiness of God.

Only four New Testament passages refer to the practice of anointing with oil and none of them offer an explanation for its use. We can draw our conclusions from context. In Mark 6:13; the disciples anoint the sick and heal them. In Luke 7:46; Mary anoints Jesus’ feet as an act of worship. In James 5:14; the church elders anoint the sick with oil for healing. In Hebrews 1:8-9, God says to Christ as He returns triumphantly to Heaven, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever…” and God anoints Jesus “with the oil of gladness.”

Should Christians use anointing oil today? There is nothing in Scripture that commands or even suggests that we should use similar oil today, but neither is there anything to forbid it. Oil is often used as a symbol for the Holy Spirit in the Bible as in the parable of the wise and foolish virgins (Matthew 25:1-13). As such, Christians have the presence of the oil of the Spirit who leads us into all truth and anoints us continually with His grace and comfort. “But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth” (1 John 2:20).

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Gifts for Mom”



Gifts for Mom

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.
Getting back together, they discussed the gifts they were
able to give their elderly mother.

The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.” The
second said, “I sent her a Mercedes with a driver.” The
third smiled and said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember
how Mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t
see very well. So I sent her a remarkable parrot that recites
the entire Bible. It took elders in the church 12 years to
teach him. He’s one of a kind. Mama just has to name the
chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks:

“Milton,” she wrote one son, “the house you built is so huge.
I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house.”

“Gerald,” she wrote to another, “I am too old to travel. I
stay most of the time at home, so I rarely use the Mercedes.
And the driver is so rude!”

“Dearest Donald,” she wrote to her third son, “you have the
good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was
delicious.”

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“How often should a married couple have sex?”



The Bible doesn’t tell us how often a married couple should have sex, it does tell us that a couple is to abstain only when it is a mutual decision. First Corinthians 7:5 tells us, “Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” So, mutual consent is the “rule” for how often a married couple should have sex. The “rule” is that abstaining from sex must be agreed upon, and that even when it is agreed upon, it should only be for a short time.

Sex should not be withheld or demanded. If one spouse does not want to have sex, the other spouse should agree to abstain. If one spouse wants to have sex, the other spouse should agree. It is all a matter of compromise. We must remember that our bodies belong to our spouses, as 1 Corinthians 7:4 tells us, “The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” Obviously, the “sexual compromise” in marriage must be reasonable. If one spouse desires sex every day, and the other spouse once a month or less, they will have to lovingly and sacrificially agree to a compromise, a middle ground. Studies show that taking into account all age ranges, a typical married couple has sex 2 times per week.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Dear John”



Dear John

An Army ranger was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there he
received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she
had been dating two guys while he had been gone, she wanted to break
up and she wants pictures of herself back.

So the Ranger does what any squared away Ranger would do.

He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos
of women he could find. He then mailed about 25 pictures to his
girlfriend with the following note: “I’m sorry I can’t remember which
one you are, but please take the one that belongs to you and send
the rest back. Thank you”

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“What should Christian parents do if they have a prodigal son (or daughter)?”



There is inherent in the story of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) several principles that believing parents can use to react to and deal with children who walk contrary to the way in which the parents have raised them. Parents need to remember that once their children have reached adulthood, they are no longer under the authority of their parents.

In the story of the prodigal son, the younger son takes his inheritance and goes into a far country and wastes it. In the case of a child who is not a born-again believer, this is just doing what comes naturally. In the case of a child who at one time made a clear profession of faith in Christ, we call this child a “prodigal.” The meaning of this word is “a person who has spent his resources wastefully,” a good description of a child who leaves home and wastes the spiritual inheritance that his parents have invested in him. All the years of nurture, teaching, love, and care are forgotten as this child rebels against God. For all rebellion is against God first, and is manifested in a rebellion against parents and their authority.

Notice that the father in the parable does not stop his child from leaving. Nor does he follow after his child to try to protect him. Rather, this parent faithfully stays at home and prays, and when that child “comes to his senses” and turns around and heads back, the parent is waiting and watching and runs to greet that child even when he is a “long way off.”

When our sons and daughters go off on their own—assuming they are of legal age to do so—and make choices that we know will bring hard consequences, parents must let go and allow them to leave. The parent does not follow after, and the parent does not interfere with the consequences that will come. Rather, the parent stays at home, keeps faithfully praying and watching for the signs of repentance and a change of direction. Until that comes, parents keep to their own counsel, do not support the rebellion, and do not interfere (1 Peter 4:15).

Once children are of an age of legal adulthood, they are subject only to the authority of God and the delegated authority of government (Romans 13:1-7). As parents, we can support our prodigals with love and prayer and be ready to come alongside once they have made their move toward God. God often uses self-inflicted misery to bring us to wisdom, and it is up to each individual to respond correctly. As parents, we cannot save our children—only God can do that. Until that time comes, we must watch, pray, and leave the matter in the hands of God. This may be a painful process, but when carried out biblically, it will bring peace of mind and heart. We cannot judge our children, only God can. In this there is a great comfort: “Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25b).

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