GRIN AND SHARE IT: A Movie Bet


A Movie Bet

Two fellas were watching an old cowboy movie and it came to the part when the cowboy, on his horse, at full gallop, was headed right towards a cliff. One of the guys said to the other, “Hey, I’ll bet you 10 bucks that he rides over the cliff.” The other said, “Your on!”

Well the cowboy and the horse went right over the cliff. The fella that lost the bet paid up. A while later, the guy who won said, “Hey, I’m feeling a little guilty about our bet and need to make a confession … I already have seen the movie.” The other fella replied, “Well, I have also seen the movie before … but I didn’t think he’d do it again!”

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: Real Church Bulletin Bloopers


Church Bulletin Bloopers

“For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.”

“The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.”

“The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.”

“Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.”

“Anointing of the sick … If you are going to be hospitalized for an operation, contact the pastor. Special prayer also for those who are seriously sick by request.”

“The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.”

The sermon title this morning: WOMEN IN THE CHURCH

The closing song: RISE UP, O MEN OF GOD

The sermon this morning: GOSSIP … THE SPEAKING OF EVIL

The closing song: I LOVE TO TELL THE STORY

The sermon this morning: CONTEMPORARY ISSUES # 3 … EUTHANASIA

The closing song: TAKE MY LIFE

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: Pastor, The Honeymoon Is Over!


The Honeymoon Is Over!

When the flood of dinner invitations is reduced to a trickle and the menus switch from sirloin to burgers, you know the honeymoon between you and your congregation is over.

In the beginning you reign from your pedestal, feeling invincible. The first tremors are so subtle that you ask, ‘Did I imagine that?’ Then the pedestal begins to rock as enthusiastic handshakes and vigorous pats on the back are replaced by cordial smiles and forced praise for the ‘fine’ sermon you preached.

You tiptoe, you dance, you flail your arms, but you eventually topple. And the worse part is, you never saw it coming – just like the last time. See if you have overlooked these warning signs from a disgruntled congregation.

You return from vacation to find the visiting preacher’s name on your mailbox.

Your church is about to split, and neither group wants you.

Shut-ins pull the window shades and pretend that they aren’t home when you come to visit.

Mom moves her membership letter to another church.

You’re told that God is calling you to the mission field – now!

Your cast as a donkey in the Christmas cantata.

Your wife moves her membership letter to another church.

The trustees have been marching around your house the last six days praying and carrying lanterns.

Your secretary starts sending out your resume’.

The congregation forces members of the pulpit committee to wear sackcloth and make a public apology.

Church members start referring to you in the past tense.

Your ‘love offering’ is a two-for-one coupon at Burger King.

You show up at church on Monday morning to discover that the locks have been changed.

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FOR PREACHERS ONLY: Why Be Good?


(A Sermon Outline)

Text:  Luke 15:25-30

Introduction:  The young prodigal son took his portion of inheritance and squandered it.  He enjoyed for a season, wine, women and song.  The money soon was gone and he got a job feeding swine.  He decided to return to his father and ask for forgiveness and request to be employed as a servant.  The father saw him coming home and ran with open arms to greet him.  He put a ring on his hand and shoes on his feet.  He put a robe upon him and had a great feast of rejoicing because his son had come home.

The older brother of the prodigal was angry about all of the festivities and told his father that things just did not seem fair.  He noted that he not taken his inheritance and squandered it in a distant land.  He had remained at home and worked.  He basically asked, “Why be good?”  In much the same way, people that are trying to serve the Lord and do good often compare their situation in life to those that are not serving God and feel that they are coming up short.  They often wonder, “Why be good?”

1. BE GOOD BECAUSE YOU ARE LOOKING IN
You can not run from yourself.  People may know about your reputation but not your character.  Your true character is what you are in the dark.
The Bible says, “…behold, ye have sinned against the LORD; and be sure your sin will find you out.”  (Numbers 32:23)  This does not say, “Be sure your sin will be be found out”; but, “Your sin will find you out.”  It may be realized through high blood pressure, sleepless nights, unhappiness  or the heavy burden of guilt.

I have to live with myself, and so I want to be fit for myself to know.  I want to be able as the days go by always to look myself straight in the eye.  I don’t want to stand with the setting sun and hate myself for the things I have done.  I cannot hide myself from me.  I see what others may never see.  I know what others may never know; so, whatever happens, I want to be self-respecting and conscience. free.

2. BE GOOD BECAUSE OTHERS ARE LOOKING ON
Paul said, “For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.”  (Romans 14:7)
We influence and impact others.  Our family and friends are affected by our actions.
Philosopher Immanuel Kant spoke of “the categorical imperative”; “So live, that if everyone imitated you, it would bring the greatest good to the greatest number.”
When my older son was about five, he was following my footprints in the new fallen snow.  He said, “Daddy, don’t take such big steps, I am following your footprints.”
Only one life and it will soon be past, only what’s done for Christ will last.

3. BE GOOD BECAUSE GOD IS LOOKING DOWN
Solomon said, “The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.”  (Proverbs 15:3)
If everyone knew you the way God knows you, would your friends still respect you?
God knows the book of your life from cover to cover.  Every chapter, paragraph, sentence, word and letter.  He even knows the blank spaces.
The Bible says, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”  (I John 1:8-9)
Goodness begins with salvation and continues with sanctification and will come to fruition with the return of Christ and our glorification.
Unless you have within you that which is above you, you will be defeated by that which is around you.

Conclusion:  A pastor had lunch with a husband and wife after Sunday morning worship. The wife was a Christian and a member of the local church.  The husband was not.  After enjoying the meal, the pastor and husband stepped outside.  The husband said, “Pastor, look as far north as you can see; as far south as you can see; as far east as you and see; as far west as you can see.”  He then boasted, “I own everything in each direction.”  The pastor replied, “That is good.  How much do you own it that (he pointed toward heaven) direction?”  The husband humbly replied, “Sir, I own nothing in that direction.”  The important things in life are not material, but spiritual; not temporal, but eternal.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: They’re Not All Mine!


 They’re Not All Mine!

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign.

“Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?” yelled an irate man.

She rolled down her window and said, “What makes you think these are all mine?”

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: Chapter 11


There was a guy who owned his own business. He sold plastics to many different companies. One day one of his warehouses burnt to the ground. This led to many orders being cancelled and a loss of customers. The insurance company was not going to cover the damage. This guy was in real trouble. He could lose everything.

Well, the guy decided to see his minister. He said to the minister, “I need help! My warehouse burnt to the ground, my product is all gone, my customers are leaving, and I am losing everything!”

The minister told him, “You can find all the answers to your problems in the Bible.”

The guy asked, “Where should I start?”

The minister answered, “If you do not know where to look, just open the book and place your finger on the page, and start right there. Sooner or later you will find your answers.”

Well, A few months later the minister ran into the individual. It was obvious the individual had become very successful. He had a new car, new clothes, several rings and chains.

The guy walks over to the minister and says, “Thank you. The answers I found turned my life around!”

The minister was curious and said, “In what passage did you find your answers?”

The man says, “I did just what you said. I opened the Bible to a spot, looked down, and found my answer staring me right in the face – “Chapter 11.”

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SERMON ILLUSTRATION: The Lord’s Baseball Team


Bob was caught up in the spirit where he and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord’s team was playing Satan’s team. The Lord’s team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a big, burly batter, Love, stepped up to the plate . Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single. “That was great,” Bob said. “Yes,” answered the Lord, “Love never fails.”

The next batter, a strong lad called Faith, got up to bat and slapped a single into right field. “Wonderful!” said Bob. “Yes,” answered the Lord, “Faith and Love work together well.”

The next batter up was Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch. Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass. “Looked good to me,” said Bob, a little confused. The Lord shook his head. “It wasn’t. and Godly Wisdom is never fooled by Satan’s pitches.” Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked. The bases were loaded.

The Lord then turned to Bob and told him He was going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace, a scrawny, gentle-looking player. “He doesn’t look like much,” Bob said. Satan’s whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Cat-calls and jeering hoots filled the air. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch.

To Bob’s amazement, Grace hit the ball high into the stars. But Satan was not worried; his center fielder, the Prince of the Power of the Air, let very few get by. He shot up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, spun him around, and sent him crashing on the ground. The ball continued flying through space, giving the Lord’s team a winning home run! Bob gave the Lord a puzzled look. “Why couldn’t Love, Faith, or Godly Wisdom hit a homer like that?” The Lord replied, “Love, Faith, and Godly Wisdom are great players, but only Grace can get you home.”

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SERMON ILLUSTRATION: Reflections of a Mother


  • I gave you life, but cannot live it for you.
  • I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
  • I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
  • I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
  • I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
  • I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
  • I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
  • I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
  • I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
  • I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
  • I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to show honor.
  • I can advise you about friends, but cannot choose them for you.
  • I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
  • I can tell you the facts of life, but I can’t build your reputation.
  • I can tell you about drugs and alcohol, but I can’t say “no” for you.
  • I can tell you about lofty goals, but I can’t achieve them for you.
  • I can teach you about kindness, but I can’t force you to be gracious.
  • I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make you moral.
  • I can love you as a child, but I cannot place you in God’s family.
  • I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God
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SERMON ILLUSTRATION: God Doesn’t Exist


A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: “I don’t believe that God exists.”

“Why do you say that?” asked the customer.

“Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn’t exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can’t imagine a loving a God who would allow all of these things.”

The customer thought for a moment, but didn’t respond because he didn’t want to start an argument. The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber: “You know what? Barbers do not exist.”

“How can you say that?” asked the surprised barber. “I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!

“No!” the customer exclaimed. “Barbers don’t exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.”

“Ah, but barbers DO exist! What happens, is people do not come to me.”

“Exactly!”- affirmed the customer. “That’s the point! God, too, DOES exist! What happens, is, people don’t go to Him and do not look for Him. That’s why there’s so much pain and suffering in the world.”

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What is meant by, “Entertain Strangers that may be Angels unawares?”


Where you find genuine Christian love, you find hospitality.  This was an important ministry in the early church because persecution drove many believers from their home.  There were also traveling ministers who needed a place to stay (3 John 5-8).  They did not have the money to stay in a local inn; and since the churches met in homes (Rom. 16:5), it was customary for a visitor to stay with his host.  In my early years as an evangelist, I usually stayed in the home of the pastor or a member of the local church where I was preaching.  All saints are to be “given to hospitality” (Rom. 12:13).

This is why the Bible says, “Let brotherly love continue.  Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”  (Heb. 13:1-2)  You and I may not entertain angels in a literal sense (though it is possible); but any stranger could turn out to be a messenger of blessing to us.  (The word “angel” simply means “messenger.”)  My wife and I have often had guests at our house that became a messenger of God’s blessings to us.

These verses in Hebrews do not teach that when Christians see a man holding a sign begging for money they should take him home for the night.  It was written to Christians and instructed them how to treat other Christians that needed lodging.  Many of which were strangers they had never met.

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