GETTING INTO HEAVEN

A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates.St. Peter explains that it’s not easy to get into heaven.

There are some criteria that must be met before entry is allowed. For example, was the man a church-goer or religious? No?
St. Peter told him that’s bad.

Was he generous, giving money to the poor or to charities? No?
St. Peter told him that that, too, was bad.

Did he do any good deeds, such as helping his neighbor? Anything? No?
St. Peter was becoming concerned.

Exasperated,the Saint says,’Look, everybody does something nice sometime.Work with me, here! I’m trying to help. Now think!’

The man thinks for a minute, then says,’Well, I did help this old lady once. I came out of a store and saw that a dozen Hell’s Angels had taken her purse and were shoving her around. I threw my bags down and got her purse back, then I told the biggest biker there that he was cowardly and I spat in his face.’

‘Wow,’ said St. Peter,’That’s impressive! When did this happen?’
‘Oh, about 15 minutes ago,’ replied the man.