At a recent pastor’s retreat each minister in attendance was asked the following question: “How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?” The answers were as follows.

A Presbyterian Pastor responded, “None. If God wants the bulb screwed in he is sovereign and will do it himself without human effort.”

A Charismatic Pastor replied, “None. The bulb doesn’t need to be changed. We should pray that it be healed.”

A Pentecostal Pastor said, “None. We simply need to cast out from the bulb the demon of darkness.”

The Fundamentalist Pastor stated, “None. We shouldn’t even enter the room because we need to keep ourselves separate from all darkness.”

A Baptist Pastor responded, “None. If we allow physical contact between a person and the bulb it might lead to dancing.”

The Wesleyan Minister replied, “None. If we just show the bulb its need, it already possesses the power to screw itself in.”

A Non-Denominational Pastor said, “None. We don’t want to make the bulb feel unwanted or uncomfortable.”

This poll provides one clear conclusion: it’s no wonder pastors are always in the dark.