GRIN AND SHARE IT: “You Might Be In The Wrong Church If …”

You Might Be In the Wrong Church If….

You have to pass through a metal detector to get inside.

The scripture lesson is on “Jonah the Shepherd Boy and
His Ark of Many Colors.”

The choir performs “A Mighty Fortress is Our God” – as a polka!

They believe that an elected official attending religious services
is a violation of the separation of Church and state.

A week before Christmas the pastor announces the church
will be “closed for the holidays.”

Everyone agrees the temperature in the Sanctuary is absolutely perfect!

The music director has you sing “Amazing Grace” in the
round (a la “row row row your boat”).

The church picnic will be held at KFC this year.

The sign out front says “Church-Lite: Home of the original ten minute Sermonette, and the 7.5 Percent Tithe.”

Every illustration the preacher uses somehow refers to
“those hilarious Budweiser frogs”.

The missions budget just got cut in half, but the church
treasurer just bought a “kickin'” new Harley.

New “Purpose-Driven” mission statement includes vague reference to jello-wrestling.

New head greeters: Mike Tyson and WWF President Vince McMahon.

On your second Sunday as a visitor they ask you to be their pastor.

On the offering envelopes is printed “Please make checks payable directly to the pastor.”

About Dr. Mike Harmon

Dr. Harmon began preaching at the age of 15 while living in southern California. He has conducted over 600 revivals and evangelistic campaigns nationwide, and has served as Senior Pastor at seven churches. Dr. Harmon has degrees from Central Baptist College, the University of Central Arkansas, and a Ph.D. From the Christian Bible College and Seminary. He has served as trustee for Southeastern Baptist College and Chairman of the trustees for the BMA Theological Seminary. He also served as Chaplain for the Mississippi Highway Patrol, the Arkansas State Police and the Arkansas State Senate. His many sermons and articles on Christian Apologetics are widely published. He is married to one wife of 43 years; has two sons, and seven grandchildren. He considers the simple pleasures of cooking, dining with family and friends, and liesurely rides on his Harley through the Texas Hill Country to be some of the most enjoyable blessings from the Lord.
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