The Vacation

A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.
He mentioned the trip to his barber, who responded,
“Why would anyone want to go there?

It’s crowded and dirty and full of Italians. You’re crazy
to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?

“We’re taking TWA,” was the reply. “We got a great
rate!” “TWA!” exclaimed the barber. “That’s a terrible
airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are
ugly, and they’re always late.

So, where are you staying in Rome?”
“We’ll be at the downtown International Marriott.”

“That dump! That’s the worst hotel in Rome. The
rooms are small, the service is ugly and they’re
overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?”

“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and we hope
to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the barber.
“You and a million other people trying to see him.
He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this
lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it!”

A month later, the man again came in for his regular
haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

“It was wonderful,” explained the man, “not only were
we on time in one of TWA’s brand new planes, but it
was overbooked so they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful
28-year-old stewardess who waited on me hand and
foot. And the hotel!

Well, it was great! They’d just finished a $25 million
remodeling job and now it’s the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and
gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the barber, “I know you didn’t get to
see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the
Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder
and explained that the pope likes to meet some of
the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his
private room and wait, the Pope would personally
greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked in.
As I knelt down he spoke a few words to me.”

“What’d he say?”

He said, “Where’d you get the crappy haircut?”