GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Elvis’ Senior Citizen Song”

Elvis’ Senior Citizen Song

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day…
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her, and its prostate for him.

Does your back give you pain…do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up, your cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, Metamucil to boot,
keeps you like a well-oiled machine.
If it’s football, or baseball…he sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it’s at…but forgets what it’s for.

So, your gall bladder’s gone, and his gout lingers on.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you’re hungry, he’s not.
When you’re cold, then he’s hot.
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic, and witty and smart.
How’d he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?

So don’t take any bets, this is as good as it gets.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight.

About Dr. Mike Harmon

Dr. Harmon began preaching at the age of 15 while living in southern California. He has conducted over 600 revivals and evangelistic campaigns nationwide, and has served as Senior Pastor at seven churches. Dr. Harmon has degrees from Central Baptist College, the University of Central Arkansas, and a Ph.D. From the Christian Bible College and Seminary. He has served as trustee for Southeastern Baptist College and Chairman of the trustees for the BMA Theological Seminary. He also served as Chaplain for the Mississippi Highway Patrol, the Arkansas State Police and the Arkansas State Senate. His many sermons and articles on Christian Apologetics are widely published. He is married to one wife of 43 years; has two sons, and seven grandchildren. He considers the simple pleasures of cooking, dining with family and friends, and liesurely rides on his Harley through the Texas Hill Country to be some of the most enjoyable blessings from the Lord.
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