Quarterback Sneak – Church members quietly leaving during
the invitation.

Draw Play – What many children do with the bulletin during
worship.

Halftime – The period between Sunday School and worship
when many choose to leave.

Benchwarmer – Those who do not sing, pray, work, or apparently
do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion – Making a trip to the back (restroom or
water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket – What happens to a lot of money that
should be given to the Lord’s work.

Two-minute Warning – The point at which you realize the
sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children
and belongings.

Instant Replay – The preacher loses his notes and falls back
on last week’s illustrations.

Sudden Death – What happens to the attention span of the
congregation if the preacher goes “overtime”.

Trap – You’re called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run – Getting out of church quick, without speaking to
any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense – The ability to allow absolutely nothing said
during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option – The decision of 50% of the congregation
not to return for the evening service.

Blitz – The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.