GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Donkey”


The Donkey

A Cajun named, Jean Paul, moved to Texas and bought
a donkey from an old farmer for $100. The farmer agreed
to deliver the donkey the next day.

The next day, the farmer drove up and said, “Sorry, but I
have some bad news.

The donkey died. “Well, then, just give me my money back.”
Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.”

“OK, then, just unload the donkey.”

“What ya gonna do with him?” asked the farmer.

I’m going to raffle him off.””You can’t raffle off a dead donkey!”

“Sure, I can. Watch me. I just won’t tell anybody he’s dead.”
said the Cajun.

A month later the farmer met up the Cajun and asked,
“What happened with that dead donkey?”

The Cajun replied, “I raffled him off. I sold 500 hundred
tickets at two dollars apiece and made a profit of $898.”

“Didn’t anyone complain?”

Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back.”

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“Liar, Liar, pants on fire!”


Our local newspaper here in Austin, Texas has a daily article which evaluates things said by politicians.  There verdict ranges from “true” to “pants on fire.”  How many people have been  wounded by a person that gossips?  The Bible makes it very clean that this is a sin and should be avoided by Christians.

 The Hebrew word translated “gossip” in the Old Testament is defined as “one who reveals secrets, one who goes about as a talebearer or scandal-monger.” A gossiper is a person who has privileged information about people and proceeds to reveal that information to those who have no business knowing it. Gossip is distinguished from sharing information in two ways:

1. Intent. Gossipers often have the goal of building themselves up by making others look bad and exalting themselves as some kind of repositories of knowledge.

2. The type of information shared. Gossipers speak of the faults and failings of others, or reveal potentially embarrassing or shameful details regarding the lives of others without their knowledge or approval. Even if they mean no harm, it is still gossip.

In the book of Romans, Paul reveals the sinful nature and lawlessness of mankind, stating how God poured out His wrath on those who rejected His laws. Because they had turned away from God’s instruction and guidance, He gave them over to their sinful natures. The list of sins includes gossips and slanderers (Romans 1:29b-32). We see from this passage how serious the sin of gossip is and that it characterizes those who are under God’s wrath.

Another group who were (and still are today) known for indulging in gossip is widows. Paul cautions widows against entertaining the habit of gossip and of being idle. These women are described as “gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to” (1 Timothy 5:12-13). Because women tend to spend a lot of time in each other’s homes and work closely with other women, they hear and observe situations which can become distorted, especially when repeated over and over. Paul states that widows get into the habit of going from home to home, looking for something to occupy their idleness. Idle hands are the devil’s workshop, and God cautions against allowing idleness to enter our lives. “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man [or woman] who talks too much” (Proverbs 20:19).

Women are certainly not the only ones who have been found guilty of gossip. Anyone can engage in gossip simply by repeating something heard in confidence. The book of Proverbs has a long list of verses that cover the dangers of gossip and the potential hurt that results from it. “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret” (Proverbs 11:12-13).

The Bible tells us that “a perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends” (Proverbs 16:28). Many a friendship has been ruined over a misunderstanding that started with gossip. Those who engage in this behavior do nothing but stir up trouble and cause anger, bitterness, and pain among friends. Sadly, some people thrive on this and look for opportunities to destroy others. And when such people are confronted, they deny the allegations and answer with excuses and rationalizations. Rather than admit wrongdoing, they blame someone else or attempt to minimize the seriousness of the sin. “A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts” (Proverbs 18:7-8).

Those who guard their tongues keep themselves from calamity (Proverbs 21:23). So we must guard our tongues and refrain from the sinful act of gossip. If we surrender our natural desires to the Lord, He will help us to remain righteous. May we all follow the Bible’s teaching on gossip by keeping our mouths shut unless it is necessary and appropriate to speak.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Circle Flies”


Circle Flies

A farmer got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the
trooper started to lecture the farmer about his speed, and in general
began to throw his weight around to try to make the farmer
uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he
was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing
around his head.

The farmer said, “Having some problems with circle flies there, are
ya?”

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said – “Well, yeah, if
that’s what they are, I never heard of circle flies”.

So the farmer says- “Well, circle flies are common on farms. See,
they’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found
circling around the back end of a horse.”

The trooper says, “Oh,” and goes back to writing the ticket. Then
after a minute he stops and says, ” Hey—wait a minute, are you
trying to call me a horse’s behind?”

The farmer says, “Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law
enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a
horse’s behind.”

The Trooper says, “Well, that’s a good thing,” and goes back to
writing the ticket.

After a long pause, the farmer says, “Hard to fool them flies though.”

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If you think you have this virtue — you don’t!


I have known people that had a superficial humility.  They would basically say that they were proud of their humility.  It is rather odd that when you think you have this virtue, you do not.  What does the Bible say about “humility?”

The Bible describes humility as meekness, lowliness and absence of self. The Greek word translated “humility” in Colossians 3:12 and elsewhere literally means “lowliness of mind,” so we see that humility is a heart attitude, not merely an outward demeanor. One may put on an outward show of humility but still have a heart full of pride and arrogance. Jesus said that those who are “poor in spirit” would have the kingdom of heaven. Being poor in spirit means that only those who admit to an absolute bankruptcy of spiritual worth will inherit eternal life. Therefore, humility is a prerequisite for the Christian.

When we come to Christ as sinners, we must come in humility. We acknowledge that we are paupers and beggars who come with nothing to offer Him but our sin and our need for salvation. We recognize our lack of merit and our complete inability to save ourselves. Then when He offers the grace and mercy of God, we accept it in humble gratitude and commit our lives to Him and to others. We “die to self” so that we can live as new creations in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). We never forget that He has exchanged our worthlessness for His infinite worth, our sin for His righteousness, and the life we now live, we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us (Galatians 3:20). That is true humility.

Biblical humility is not only necessary to enter the kingdom, it is also necessary to be great in the kingdom (Matthew 20:26-27). Here Jesus is our model. Just as He did not come to be served, but to serve, so must we commit ourselves to serving others in all lowliness of mind, always considering others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). This attitude precludes selfish ambition, conceit, and the strife that comes with self-justification and self-defense. The truly humble does not defend himself when falsely accused or unjustly treated. He defends the truth, but not his own ego or reputation. Jesus was not ashamed to humble Himself as a servant (John 13:1-16), even to death on the cross (Philippians 2:8). In His humility, He was always obedient to the Father and so should the humble Christian be willing to put aside all selfishness and submit in obedience to God and His Word. True humility produces godliness, contentment, and security.

God has promised to give grace to the humble, while He opposes the proud (Proverbs 3:34; 1 Peter 5:5). Therefore, we must confess and put away pride. If we exalt ourselves, we place ourselves in opposition to God who will, in His grace and for our own good, humble us. But if we humble ourselves, God gives us more grace and exalts us (Luke 14:11). Along with Jesus, Paul is also to be our example of humility. In spite of the great gifts and understanding he had received, Paul saw himself as the “least of the apostles” and the “chief of sinners” (1 Timothy 1:15; 1 Corinthians 15:9). Like Paul, the truly humble will glory in the grace of God and in the cross, not in self-righteousness (Philippians 3:3-9).

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Bathroom Humor”



Bathroom Humor

Leaving Montreal, I decided to stop at one of those rest
areas on the side of the road.

I go into the washroom. The first stall is taken, so I go into
the second stall. I had just sat down when I hear a voice
from the other stall…………

“Hi there, how is it going?”

Okay, I am not the type to strike up conversations with
strangers in washrooms sitting on a toilet. I didn’t know
what to say, so finally I say:”Not bad…………”

Then the voice says: “So, what are you doing?”

I am starting to find this a bit weird, but I say:
“Well, I’m going back east……………”

Then I hear the person, all flustered, say:
“Look, I’ll call you back–every time I ask you a question
this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me!”

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“The sin no one confesses publically”


 After 50 years in the ministry, I have heard many people confess many sins both to me and in public.  The variety of sins was spacious, everything from adultery to drunkenness and about everything you can imagine in between.

The one sin that I have never heard anyone confess in public is the sin of jealousy/envy.  What does the Bible say about this sin?

When we use the word “jealous,” we use it in a sense of being envious of someone who has something we do not have. This kind of jealousy is a sin and is not characteristic of a Christian; rather, it shows that we are still being controlled by our own desires (1 Corinthians 3:3). Galatians 5:26 says, “Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.”

The Bible tells us that we are to have the perfect kind of love that God has for us. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” (I Corinthians 13:4-5). The more we focus on ourselves and our own desires, the less we are able to focus on God. When we harden our hearts to the truth, we cannot turn to Jesus and allow Him to heal us (Matthew 13:15). But when we allow the Holy Spirit to control us, He will produce in us the fruit of our salvation, which is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Being jealous indicates that we are not satisfied with what God has given us. The Bible tells us to be content with what we have, for God will never fail or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). In order to combat jealousy, we need to become more like Jesus and less like ourselves. We can get to know Him through Bible study, prayer, and fellowship with mature believers. As we learn how to serve others instead of ourselves, our hearts will begin to change. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Terrorist”


Terrorist

A public school teacher was arrested at Heathrow Airport today
for attempting to board a flight while in possession of a compass,
a protractor, and a graphical calculator.

Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al Gebra movement.

He has been charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

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“How bad can a Christian sin?”



Christians continue to sin after they are saved – we will not be completely free from sin until we die or Jesus comes back. However, becoming a Christian results in a changed life (2 Corinthians 5:17). A person will go from producing the acts of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) to displaying the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), as the indwelling Holy Spirit has more and more control over his life. This change does not happen instantly, but it does happen over time. If a person does not demonstrate a changed life, he/she is likely not a genuine believer. Christians can commit grievous sins. History is filled with Christians (or those who claim to be Christians) committing terrible crimes. Jesus died for these sins as well. All the more reason not to commit them!

In 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, the Apostle Paul describes the kind of sinful lifestyles believers are saved from. Verse 11 says, “And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” Notice the word “were.” Believers used to be like the things listed in verses 9-10, but they are not like that any longer. Can a person who is an adulterer, drunkard, or homosexual, child abuser, etc. be saved? Yes. Is a person who lives a life of continual sin a believer? No. When we become Christians, our lives will change. Anyone who is living a sinful lifestyle and claims to be a Christian is either lying, is self-deceived, or really is a believer who is going to experience God’s judgment and discipline (Hebrews 12:5-11).

The difference between a sinning unbeliever and a sinning believer is that one loves his sin while the other hates it. The believer who stumbles in his walk with the Lord regrets it, confesses it, wishes to never do it again and seeks to appropriate God’s power and grace to avoid it. He doesn’t consider how much he can sin and still be considered a Christian. Rather, he considers how he can avoid even the appearance of sin in the future.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Secret Weapon”


Secret Weapon

The latest proposal to drive the Taliban and Al Qaeda out of
the mountains of Afghanistan is to send in the ASF (Alabama
Special Forces.) Billy Bob, Bubba, Boo, Scooter, Cooter and Junior
are being sent in with the following information about the Taliban:

1. The season opened last weekend.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They hate beer, pickup trucks, country music, and Jesus.

5. They don’t like barbecue.

6. They were responsible for Dale Earnhardt’s death.

We estimate it should be over in just about two days.

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“What is a Jesus freak?”



The phrase “Jesus freak” was originally used to demean/insult Christians involved with the Jesus Movement in the 1960s and 1970s. It was primarily directed towards “Bible thumpers” and those who were especially aggressive in their evangelistic efforts. The core meaning of Jesus freak was a person who was so dedicated to following Jesus that there was nothing else the person could talk about. A Jesus freak is basically a person who is obsessed with Jesus.

While it was originally used as a pejorative, Jesus freak has become accepted and even embraced by many in the Christian community. A “Jesus Freak” song and album by the Christian band DC Talk in 1995 helped popularize the term. This is perhaps similar to the term “Christian,” which seemingly originated as an insult (Acts 11:26), but later became the most widely accepted term for a follower of Jesus Christ. If obsession with Jesus is indeed the core meaning of Jesus freak, then yes, a Jesus freak is precisely what a Christian should strive to be (Matthew 16:24).

In the Jesus Freak song, there is a contrast between how the world views a Jesus freak and what the Bible would declare to be a Jesus freak. First, a man with “Jesus saves” tattooed on his belly is standing on a box in the middle of a city, claiming that he had a dream. That is perhaps how the world thinks of as a Jesus freak. Contrasted with that is the example of John the Baptist. While the world thought he was crazy, he demonstrated the ultimate commitment to Jesus by dying for refusing to be silent: “the king took the head of this Jesus freak” (Matthew 14:10). That should be the definition of a Jesus freak. We should be so radically committed to Jesus that we would rather lay down our lives than deny Him.

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