GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Aspiring Psychiatrists”



The Aspiring Psychiatrists

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on
emotional extremes.

“Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor, to the
student from Arkansas, “What is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said the student.

“And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from
Oklahoma.

“Elation,” said she.

“And you sir,” he said to the young man from Texas, “How about the
opposite of woe?”

The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.”

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“Can people in heaven look down and see us?”



Hebrews 12:1 states, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses…” Some understand the “cloud of witnesses” to be people looking down on us from heaven. That is not the correct interpretation. Hebrews chapter 11 records many people whom God commended for their faith. It is these people who are the “cloud of witnesses.” They are “witnesses” not in that they are watching us, but rather in that they have set an example for us. They are witnesses for Christ and God and truth. Hebrews 12:1 continues, “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Because of the faith and diligence of Christians who went before us, we should be inspired to follow their example.

The Bible does not specifically say whether or not people in heaven can look down on us who are still on the earth. It is highly unlikely that they can. Why? First, they would sometimes see things that would cause them grief or pain, namely, acts of sin and evil. Since there is no grief, tears, or unhappiness in heaven (Revelation 21:4), it does not seem that observing earthly events would be possible. Second, people in heaven are so preoccupied with worshipping God and enjoying the glories of heaven that it does not seem they would have significant interest in what is happening here on earth. The very fact that they are free from sin and experiencing God’s presence in heaven surely is more than enough to captivate their attention. While it is possible that God allows people in heaven to look down upon their loved ones, the Bible gives us no reason to believe this actually occurs.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Things You’d Like to Say at Work But Can’t”



Things You’s Like to Say at Work But Can’t

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
*
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
*
You! . . . Off my planet!
*
Does your train of thought have a caboose?
*
A PBS mind in an MTV world.
*
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
*
Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
*
I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
*
A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
*
Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t
fallen asleep yet.
*
Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
*
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
*
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
*
How do I set a laser printer on stun?
*
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

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“How is eternity in hell a fair punishment for sin?”



This is an issue that bothers many people who have an incomplete understanding of three things: the nature of God, the nature of man, and the nature of sin. As fallen, sinful human beings, the nature of God is a difficult concept for us to grasp. We tend to see God as a kind, merciful Being whose love for us overrides and overshadows all His other attributes. Of course God is loving, kind, and merciful, but He is first and foremost a holy and righteous God. So holy is He that He cannot tolerate sin. He is a God whose anger burns against the wicked and disobedient (Isaiah 5:25; Hosea 8:5; Zachariah 10:3). He is not only a loving God—He is love itself! But the Bible also tells us that He hates all manner of sin (Proverbs 6:16-19). And while He is merciful, there are limits to His mercy. “Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon” (Isaiah 55:6-7).

Humanity is corrupted by sin, and that sin is always directly against God. When David sinned by committing adultery with Bathsheba and having Uriah murdered, he responded with an interesting prayer: “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight…” (Psalm 51:4). Since David had sinned against Bathsheba and Uriah, how could he claim to have only sinned against God? David understood that all sin is ultimately against God. God is an eternal and infinite Being (Psalm 90:2). As a result, all sin requires an eternal punishment. God’s holy, perfect, and infinite character has been offended by our sin. Although to our finite minds our sin is limited in time, to God—who is outside of time—the sin He hates goes on and on. Our sin is eternally before Him and must be eternally punished in order to satisfy His holy justice.

No one understands this better than someone in hell. A perfect example is the story of the rich man and Lazarus. Both died, and the rich man went to hell while Lazarus went to paradise (Luke). Of course, the rich man was aware that his sins were only committed during his lifetime. But, interestingly, he never says, “How did I end up here?” That question is never asked in hell. He does not say, “Did I really deserve this? Don’t you think this is a little extreme? A little over the top?” He only asks that someone go to his brothers who are still alive and warn them against his fate.

Like the rich man, every sinner in hell has a full realization that he deserves to be there. Each sinner has a fully informed, acutely aware, and sensitive conscience which, in hell, becomes his own tormenter. This is the experience of torture in hell—a person fully aware of his or her sin with a relentlessly accusing conscience, without relief for even one moment. The guilt of sin will produce shame and everlasting self-hatred. The rich man knew that eternal punishment for a lifetime of sins is justified and deserved. That is why he never protested or questioned being in hell.

The realities of eternal damnation, eternal hell, and eternal punishment are frightening and disturbing. But it is good that we might, indeed, be terrified. While this may sound grim, there is good news. God loves us (John 3:16) and wants us to be saved from hell (2 Peter 3:9). But because God is also just and righteous, He cannot allow our sin to go unpunished. Someone has to pay for it. In His great mercy and love, God provided His own payment for our sin. He sent His Son Jesus Christ to pay the penalty for our sins by dying on the cross for us. Jesus’ death was an infinite death because He is the infinite God/man, paying our infinite sin debt, so that we would not have to pay it in hell for eternity (2 Corinthians
5:21). If we confess our sin and place our faith in Christ, asking for God’s forgiveness based on Christ’s sacrifice, we are saved, forgiven, cleansed, and promised an eternal home in heaven. God loved us so much that He provided the means for our salvation, but if we reject His gift of eternal life, we will face the eternal consequences of that decision.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Psychiatric Hotline”


Psychiatric Hotline

Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what
you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice
will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number
you press. No one will answer.

If you are delusional and occasionally hallucinate, please be aware
that the thing you are holding on the side of your head is alive and
about to bite off your ear.

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“What did Jesus mean when He instructed us to turn the other cheek?”



The entire section of Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount in which this verse is found can be understood as one where Jesus actually serves to elevate the importance of following Israel’s moral law beyond the letter to the spirit of the law. Much of the material therein complements the nature of His coming characterized by mercy, sacrificial love, and longsuffering toward sinners while at the same time affirming the “last is first” principle upon which the kingdom of God is based. For instance, we are told to go the extra mile for someone who abuses us and to pray for enemies instead of resisting them. All of this can be generally summarized by saying we need to be pure inside and out and should be as accommodating as possible for the sake of a lost world.

To “turn the other cheek,” does not imply pacifism, nor does it mean we place ourselves or others in mortal danger. Like the principle of the eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth in Matthew 5:38; turning the other cheek refers to personal retaliation, not criminal offenses or acts of military aggression. Clearly, Jesus did not mean to negate all God’s laws and injunctions protecting us against violent crime or invading armies. Rather, Jesus is speaking here of the principle of non-retaliation to affronts against our own dignity, as well as lawsuits to gain one’s personal assets (v. 40), infringements on one’s liberty (v. 41), and violations of property rights (v. 42). He was calling for a full surrender of all personal rights.

Turning the other cheek means not to return insult for insult in retaliation, which is what most people expect and how worldly people act. Responding to hatred with love just might grab someone’s attention and afford us a chance to share the gospel. When we respond in a manner that is unnatural, it displays the supernatural power of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Jesus was the perfect example because He was silent before His accusers and did not call down revenge from heaven on those who crucified Him.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “The Stop Sign”


The Stop Sign

A police officer pulled over a red Porsche after it had run a stop
sign, “May I see your driver’s license and registration please?”

“What’s the problem, officer?” snapped the motorist.

“Your just ran the stop sign back there at the last intersection.”

“Oh, come on pal, there wasn’t a car within miles of me,” countered the
driver.

“Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop,
look both ways, and proceed with caution.”

“You gotta be kidding me!” barked the offender.

“It’s no joke, sir.”

“Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within
twenty miles, and proceeded with caution,” argued the driver.

“That’s beside the point, sir. You are supposed to come to a
complete stop, and you didn’t. Now if I may see your license and…”

“You’ve got a lot of time on your hands, PAL!” interrupted the
belligerent motorist. “What’s the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?”

“Sir, I’ll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and
registration immediately!”

“I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down,
and coming to a complete stop.”

The police officer had enough, “Sir, I can do better than that.” He
opened the car door, dragged the obnoxious motorist out, and proceeded
to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. “Now sir,
would you like me to slow down or come to a complete stop?”

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“Who divided the Bible into chapters and verses? Why and when was it done?”



When the books of the Bible were originally written, they did not contain chapter or verse references. The Bible was divided into chapters and verses to help us find Scriptures more quickly and easily. It is much easier to find “John chapter 3, verse 16” than it is to find “for God so loved the world…” In a few places, chapter breaks are poorly placed and as a result divide content that should flow together. Overall, though, the chapter and verse divisions are very helpful.

The chapter divisions commonly used today were developed by Stephen Langton, an Archbishop of Canterbury. Langton put the modern chapter divisions into place in around A.D. 1227. The Wycliffe English Bible of 1382 was the first Bible to use this chapter pattern. Since the Wycliffe Bible, nearly all Bible translations have followed Langton’s chapter divisions.

The Hebrew Old Testament was divided into verses by a Jewish rabbi by the name of Nathan in A.D. 1448. Robert Estienne, who was also known as Stephanus, was the first to divide the New Testament into standard numbered verses, in 1555. Stephanus essentially used Nathan’s verse divisions for the Old Testament. Since that time, beginning with the Geneva Bible, the chapter and verse divisions employed by Stephanus have been accepted into nearly all the Bible versions.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Montana Grizzly Bear Notice”



Montana Grizzly Bear Notice

In light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts, the
Montana Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters,
and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while
in the field.

We advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their
clothing so as not to startle bears that aren’t expecting them.

We also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case
of an encounter with a bear.

It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity.
Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and
grizzly bear dung.

Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel
fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper.

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“Is saying OMG or words like ‘geez’ still taking the Lord’s name in vain?”



The idea of “taking the Lord’s name in vain” is first found in Exodus 20 when Moses receives the Ten Commandments. The third commandment states, “You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain, for the LORD will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain” (Exodus 20:7). What does this mean? How does it apply to terms like OMG and geez?

Taking the Lord’s name in vain is to speak of God with irreverence or disrespect. Many have traditionally understood the exclamation “Oh my God!” to be sinful, because it has nothing to do with a proper, reverent use of God’s name.

The same principle is true when a person uses an acronym such as OMG or a word like geez (the first syllable of Jesus’ name) or gosh (a modified form of God). If the intended meaning is to be disrespectful toward God and His name, the word should not be used. However, some people use OMG without any thought of its connection to God’s name, and that’s what makes this question difficult.

We could all use the reminder that our words carry meaning. As people who follow Christ, we care deeply about helping others and honoring God. We must ask ourselves, “Do these words help others and honor God?” If we are honest, we will probably admit that words such as gosh do not. It may not be easy to change a long-standing habit, but we must seek to speak words that build up one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11) and honor the Lord.

James 3:9-10 speaks of the tongue as a powerful part of the body: “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” Our goal is to be consistent in our use of words, so they would serve as a blessing to God and to others.

Paul wrote, “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Colossians 3:17). This stands as our basis for evaluating terms such as OMG and geez. Does using these words give “thanks to God the Father”? If not, begin working to remove these words from your conversations and texts in order to honor God “in word and deed.”

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