GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Thank God”


Thank God!

There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about
2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary.

Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on
the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health.

Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions
to the nearest town. On his way out the backdoor, he sees this horse.

He goes back into the house and asks the missionary,
“Could I borrow your horse and give it back when I reach the town?”

The missionary says, “Sure but there is a special thing about this horse.
You have to say ‘Thank God’ to make it go and ‘Amen’ to make it stop.”

Not paying much attention, the man says, “Sure, OK.”

So he gets on the horse and says, “Thank God” and the horse starts
walking.
Then he
says, “Thank God, thank God, ” and the horse starts
trotting.

Feeling really brave, the man says, “Thank God, thank
God, thank God, thank God, thank God” and the horse just takes off.

Pretty soon he sees this cliff coming up and he’s doing
everything he can to make the horse stop.

“Whoa, stop, hold on!!!!”

Finally he remembers, “Amen!!”

The horse stops 4 inches from the cliff. The man leans back in the
saddle and says, “Thank God!”

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“Was Jesus born on December 25th?”




Speculation as to the time of Jesus’ birth dates back to the 3rd century, when Hyppolytus (ca. 170-236) claimed that Jesus was born on December 25. The earliest mention of some sort of observance on that date is in the Philoclian Calendar, representing Roman practice, of the year 336. Later, John Chrysostom favored the same date of birth. Cyril of Jerusalem (348-386) had access to the original Roman birth census, which also documented that Jesus was born on the 25th of December. The date eventually became the officially recognized date for Christmas in part because it coincided with the pagan festivals celebrating Saturnalia and the winter solstice. The church thereby offered people a Christian alternative to the pagan festivities and eventually reinterpreted many of their symbols and actions in ways acceptable to Christian faith and practice.

December 25 has become more and more acceptable as the birth date of Jesus. However, some argue that the birth occurred in some other season, such as in the fall. Followers of this theory claim that the Judean winters were too cold for shepherds to be watching their flocks by night. History proves otherwise, however, and we have historical evidence that unblemished lambs for the Temple sacrifice were in fact kept in the fields near Bethlehem during the winter months.

The truth is we simply don’t know the exact date of our Savior’s birth. In fact, we don’t even know for sure the year in which He was born. Scholars believe it was somewhere between 6 B.C. and 4 B.C. One thing is clear: if God felt it was important for us to know the exact date of the Savior’s birth, He certainly would have told us in His Word. The Gospel of Luke gives very specific details about the event, even down to what the baby was wearing – “swaddling clothes”—and where he slept—“in a manger” (Luke 2:12). These details are important because they speak of His nature and character, meek and lowly. But the exact date of His birth has no significance whatsoever, which may be why God chose not to mention it.

The fact is that He was born, that He came into the world to atone for our sins, that He was resurrected to eternal life, and that He’s alive today. This is what we should celebrate, as we are told in the Old Testament in such passages as Zechariah 2:10: “’Shout and be glad, O Daughter of Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you,’ declares the LORD.” Further, the angel that announced the birth to the shepherds brought “good news of great joy that will be for all the people” (Luke 2:10). Surely here is the cause for celebration every day, not just once a year.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Adam’s Rib”


Adam’s Rib

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created
everything, including human beings.

Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told
him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.

Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and said, “Johnny what is the matter?”

Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think
I’m going to have a wife.”

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“What should parents tell their children about Santa Claus?”



Although Santa Claus is a mythical figure, his creation is based in part on a great Christian man named Saint Nicholas of Myra, who lived in the 4th century. Nicholas was born to Christian parents who left him an inheritance when they died, which he distributed to the poor. He became a priest at a young age and was well-known for his compassion and generosity. He had a reputation for giving gifts anonymously, and he would throw bags of money into people’s homes (and sometimes down their chimneys) under the cover of night to avoid being spotted.

Nicholas passed away on December 6 sometime around the 340s or 350s AD, and the day of his death became an annual feast in which children would put out food for Nicholas and straw for his donkey. It was said that the saint would come down from heaven during the night and replace the offerings with toys and treats—but only for the good boys and girls. There are many different versions of the legend of Saint Nicholas, but all are the inspiration for the jolly, red-suited gift-giver that we now know as Santa Claus.

Many Christian parents are torn as to whether or not they should play the “Santa game” with their children. On one hand, he makes Christmas fun and magical, leaving wonderful holiday memories for years to come. On the other hand, the focus of Christmas should be on Jesus Christ and how much He has already given us. So, is the story of Santa Claus an innocent addition to Christmas festivities, or is he a subject that should be avoided?

Parents need to use their own judgment in deciding whether or not to include Santa during the holidays, but here are some things to consider: Children who believe that the gifts they receive Christmas morning are from a magical man with unending resources are less likely to appreciate what they have been given, and the sacrifices their parents make in providing them. Greed and materialism can overshadow the holiday season, which is meant to be about giving, loving, and worshiping God. Children whose parents are on a tight budget may feel that they have been overlooked by Santa, or even worse, deemed one of the “bad” boys or girls.

An even more troubling aspect of telling our children that Santa comes down the chimney each year to leave their gifts is that it is, obviously, a lie. We live in a society that believes that lying for the “right” reason is acceptable. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it is not a problem. This is contrary to what the Bible tells us. “For the Scriptures say, ‘If you want to live a happy life and good days, keep your tongue from speaking evil, and keep your lips from telling lies'” (1 Peter 3:10). Of course, telling our children that Santa is real is not a malicious deception, but it is, nevertheless, a lie.

Although it is probably not typical, some children honestly feel deceived and betrayed by their parents when they find out that Santa is not real. Children trust their parents to tell them the truth, and it is our responsibility not to break this trust. If we do, they will not believe more important things we tell them, such as the truth about Christ, whom they also cannot physically see.

This doesn’t mean we must leave Santa completely out of Christmas. Children can still play the “Santa game” even if they know it is all pretend. They can make lists, sit on his lap at the mall, and leave out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve. This will not rob them of their joy of the season, and gives parents the opportunity to tell their children about the godly qualities of the real Saint Nicholas, who dedicated his life to serving others and made himself into a living example of Jesus Christ.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “A Death in the Family”


A Death in the Family

A Pastor went to his church office on Monday morning and discovered a
dead mule in the church yard. He called the police. Since there did not
appear to be any foul play, the police referred the pastor to the health
department.

They said since there was no health threat that he should call the
sanitation department. The manager said he could not pick up the mule
without authorization from the mayor.

Now the pastor knew the mayor and was not to eager to call him. The
mayor had a bad temper and was generally hard to deal with, but the
pastor called him anyway.

The mayor did not disappoint him. He immediately began to rant and rave at
the pastor and finally said, “Why did you call me any way? Isn’t it your
job to bury the dead?”

The pastor paused for a brief prayer and asked the Lord to direct his
response. Then, he replied “Yes, Mayor, it is my job to bury the dead,
but I always like to notify the next of kin first!”

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“How should Christians respond to the ‘War on Christmas?'”


Many people perceive that there is a concerted effort to eliminate the word “Christmas” from public discourse—sort of a “war on Christmas.” The stories seem to be coming more frequently: a grade-school choir sings “We Wish You a Happy Holiday” instead of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” for their “Winter Concert.” A library invites “holiday displays” from the community provided the displays have no religious connotation—the stable may have animals in it, but no people. It is possible to do all one’s Christmas shopping and never see or hear the word “Christmas” in the stores.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with saying “Happy Holidays” or “Season’s Greetings.” But if someone says “Happy Holidays” for the sole purpose of not saying “Merry Christmas,” then we are right to question what’s going on. “Why is the word Christmas censored?” we wonder as we wander through the malls. Why do some public schools celebrate everything from Kwanzaa to Labafana the Christmas witch, and ban the Nativity, all in the name of “inclusion” and “tolerance”?

One reason put forward by those seeking to avoid the word Christmas is that it would offend non-Christians. But, according to a recent Gallup poll, only 3 percent of adults in America say it bothers them when a store makes specific reference to Christmas. The exclusion of Christmas, then, is not really a way to “adapt” to a more diverse culture, but a way to engineer a more secular culture.

Many times, the arguments against Christmas programs and displays are couched in political terms, but the bias against Christmas goes much deeper than that. This is primarily a spiritual battle, not a political one.

How should Christians respond to the ubiquitous use of “Happy Holidays” and the exclusion of Christmas? Here are some suggestions:

1) Celebrate Christmas! Let the joy of the season show in your life. Teach your family the significance of Jesus’ birth and make the Christmas traditions meaningful in your home.

2) Wish others a Merry Christmas. When confronted with a “Happy Holidays,” get specific, and wish the greeter a “Merry Christmas!” You may be surprised at how many respond in kind. Even if you’re met with resistance, don’t let it dampen your cheer. Ebenezer Scrooge’s nephew was rebuffed year after year, but it never stopped him from wishing his humbug of an uncle a Merry Christmas and inviting him to Christmas dinner.

3) Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). The Christmas season is a wonderful opportunity to share Christ’s love and the gospel message. He is the reason for the season!

4) Pray for those in positions of power (1 Timothy 2:1-3). Pray for wisdom. Pray for revival so that Christmas, instead of being “offensive,” would be honored by all.

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “Pastor Norton”



Pastor Norton

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realizing it
was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided
he just had to play golf. So…he told the Associate Pastor that he was
feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day. As soon
as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town
to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn’t
accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish.

Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it
was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord
while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to
let him get away with this, are you?” The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I
guess not.”

Just then Father Norton hit the ball and it shot straight
towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the
hole. IT WAS A 420-YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was astonished.
He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

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“Should we have a Christmas Tree?”


The modern custom of a Christmas tree does not come from any form of paganism. There is no evidence of any pagan religion decorating a special holiday tree for their mid-winter festivals, although the Romans celebrated the winter solstice with a festival called Saturnalia in honor of Saturnus, the god of agriculture. They decorated their houses with greens and lights and exchanged gifts. Late in the Middle Ages, Germans and Scandinavians placed evergreen trees inside their homes or just outside their doors to show their hope in the forthcoming spring. The first Christmas tree was decorated by Protestant Christians in 16th-century Germany. Our modern Christmas tree evolved from these early German traditions, and the custom most likely came to the United States with Hessian troops during the American Revolution, or with German immigrants to Pennsylvania and Ohio.

There is nothing in the Bible that either commands or prohibits Christmas trees. It has been falsely claimed by some that Jeremiah 10:1-16 prohibits the cutting down and decorating of trees in the same manner as we do at Christmas. However, even a cursory reading of the text makes it clear that the passage is one in which Jeremiah sets forth the prohibition against idols made of wood, plated with silver and gold, and worshipped. A similar idea appears in Isaiah 44, where Isaiah speaks of the silliness of the idol-worshippers who cut down a tree, burn part of it in the fire to warm themselves, and use the other part to fashion an idol, which they then bow down to. So unless we bow down before our Christmas tree, carve it into an idol, and pray to it, these passages cannot be applied to Christmas trees.

There is no spiritual significance to having or not having a Christmas tree. Whatever choice we make, the motive behind a believer’s decision about this, as in all matters of conscience, must be to please the Lord. Romans 14:5-6a sets out the principle in a passage about liberty: “One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord.” The Lord is grieved when Christians look down upon one another for either celebrating or not celebrating Christmas. This is spiritual pride. When we feel that somehow we have achieved a higher plain of spirituality by doing or not doing something about which the Bible is silent, we misuse our freedom in Christ, create divisions within His body, and thereby dishonor the Lord. “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31).

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GRIN AND SHARE IT: “On Fire!”


On Fire!

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary
rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!”

The Methodists gathered in the corner and prayed.

The Baptists cried, “Where is the water?”

The Quakers quietly praised God for the blessings
that fire brings.

The Lutherans posted a notice on the door declaring
the fire was evil.

The Roman Catholics passed the plate to cover the
damage.

The Jews posted symbols on the door hoping the fire
would pass.

The Congregationalists shouted, “Every man for
himself!”

The Fundamentalists proclaimed, “It’s the vengeance
of God!”

The Episcopalians formed a procession and marched
out.

The Christian Scientists concluded that there was no
fire.

The Presbyterians appointed a chairperson who was
to appoint a committee to look into the matter and
submit a written report.

The secretary grabbed the fire extinguisher and put
the fire out.

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“What does the Bible say about being left-handed?”


 

The Bible presents the right hand as the hand of strength (Exodus 15:6; Psalm 118:16). Sitting at someone’s right hand is considered a position of honor (Psalm 110:1). The right hand is consistently valued over the left hand in Scripture (Genesis 48:13-18; Galatians 2:9).  What does this mean about left-handedness? Is being left-handed considered a curse or a weakness? No. The Bible’s emphasis on “the right hand” is simply a reflection of reality. The dominant arm is almost always stronger than the other arm, and 85-90 percent of people are right-handed. So, in the vast majority of people, the right hand is stronger. Thus, the Bible uses the right hand as a symbol of strength and honor.

This does not carry any negative connotations for left-handed people. It is simply a matter of symbolism. Whenever the Bible mentions left-handed people, it does not present left-handedness as a weakness. Ehud, a judge of Israel and a mighty warrior, was left-handed (Judges 3:15-21). Judges 20:16 mentions 700 left-handed warriors who could “sling a stone at a hair and not miss.” First Chronicles 12:2 seems to reference bowmen who were ambidextrous. When the Bible refers to left-handed people, it speaks of left-handedness as an advantage, not a weakness.

While it is not as honorable as sitting at someone’s right hand, sitting at the left hand is still a position of honor (Matthew 20:21). Sitting immediately to a person’s left was considered the second-most honorable position. It was not as if everyone to the right was more honored than those to the left. The right hand is used in the Bible as a symbol of strength due to the right hand usually being stronger than the left. This should not be understood as a slight against left-handed people.

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